Being completely present|Jill Lublin

Get noticed by being completely present. “Lots of people attend events, but are distracted and are not in the present moment,” Sandra Yancey finds. “As they talk to you, they scan the room for better opportunities. I call that ‘arriving,’ not being ‘present.’

 “When I meet people, it is my responsibility to make the most of it: to be more aware, intentional, cognizant, and present. I must understand that this is a new relationship for me and that I have the choice of acting in ways that take this relationship to the next level.

 When you’re with others, let them speak. Start by being silent and listening.

Allow them to fully express themselves. Concentrate on what they say, follow their thoughts, and think how you can help them.

Today, everyone is going so fast, that they rarely give their full attention. So distinguish yourself by being completely present, especially in one-to-one situations. When you are completely present, it helps others relax because they know that you are listening to them and hearing what they say.

Many people find it hard to communicate. They may have never mastered the social skill of small talk or they freeze when they have to discuss anything of importance. Some are indirect, stutter, sputter, and never get to the point. When they talk about themselves, they talk in circles. They may have great passion, but they can’t talk about or clearly describe it.

Others tend to give far too much information. They may be nervous or don’t know how to begin. So they hem and haw, go into their backgrounds, rambling preliminaries that go on far too long, or stray far off course.

People also suffer from stage fright. They may to reluctant or afraid to tell you how great they are. If you’re are successful, you may intimidate them. Many have been taught not to brag, boast, or even talk favorably about themselves.

The key to being completely present is to listen to others without thinking about what you are going to say. When you are completely present, you hear their words and understand their meaning. You are on the same page, hear them out, and don’t jump to conclusions. When the have expressed themselves, you can ask intelligent questions and try to get them to give clearer, more informative, or more precise answers.

Being completely present takes practice; it’s a process that requires you to:

  • Abandon your agenda.
  • Focus on listening.
  • Let others speak.
  • Concentrate on what they are saying.
  • Interrupt only when you don’t understand or to indicate your excitement.
  • Flow with the conversation.
  • Be 100% there.